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General, Growth for You

Harnessing Positive Thinking – Affirmations and Mindfulness

Our thoughts and our words have a direct impact on us, and those around us. They shape our emotions, behaviours, and actions.

If you’ve ever enjoyed one of my group coaching sessions, you’ll know this is an area I’m very passionate about! Becoming more mindful of our thoughts, and directing our thoughts and words in a more mindful and focused way, can bring about immediate positive change in our lives. Just a small shift can have a significant positive impact!

We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts, with our thoughts we make the world.

Buddha

Most of us know that when we think positively, our words and lives begin to reflect those thoughts. Whether or not we believe we’re beautiful, powerful, or full of energy, studies have shown that our confidence and alertness begin to increase simply by telling ourselves that we are.

The opposite is also true. When we speak negatively of ourselves and the world around us, those words impact our state of mind and wellbeing. Consider for a moment, your own language, and how you might be self-sabotaging! Which words and thoughts are negatively impacting you physically, emotionally, or mentally?

Do any of the following resonate?

“I’m just not good enough.”

“I’m never going to be able to do this job; I’m just not smart enough.”

“I’m not confident enough to do that.”

Many of us have negative thoughts like these, sometimes frequently. When we think like this, our confidence, mood and outlook can become negative, too.

The problem with negative thoughts is that they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. We talk ourselves into believing that we’re not good enough. And, as a result, these thoughts drag down our personal lives, our relationships, and our careers.

Fortunately, with a little more focus and mindful practice, we can recognize and root out disempowering words and thoughts, and experience the positive shift in our life that comes with doing so. An important skill that mindful practice teaches is the ability to observe your thoughts. If you’d like to develop this skill, I can share a wonderful exercise with you – The Sushi Train: Mindful Creation of Positive Thoughts (Source – PositivePsychology.com). Simply contact me directly and I will happily explore this resource with you.

We can also actively shift our focus, and develop a more positive outlook, by using positive affirmations.

What are positive affirmations?

Positive affirmations are almost as easy to define as they are to practice! Put simply, they are positive phrases or statements used to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts. Practicing positive affirmations can be extremely simple, and all you need to do is pick a phrase and repeat it to yourself.

You may choose to use positive affirmations to motivate yourself, encourage positive changes in your life, or boost your self-esteem. If you frequently find yourself getting caught up in negative self-talk, positive affirmations can be used to combat these often subconscious patterns and replace them with more adaptive narratives.

How can they support positive thinking, and positive outcomes?

You might consider affirmations to be unrealistic ‘wishful thinking’, but try looking at positive affirmations this way: many of us do repetitive exercises to improve our physical health, and affirmations are like exercises for our mind and outlook. These positive mental repetitions can reprogram our thinking patterns so that, over time, we begin to think – and act – differently.

Evidence suggests that affirmations can help you to perform better in life, and in your work. According to researchers, spending just a few minutes thinking about your best qualities before a pressured or stressful situation, can calm your nerves, increase your confidence, and improve your chances of a successful outcome.

Self-affirmation may also help to mitigate the effects of stress. In one study, a short affirmation exercise boosted the problem-solving abilities of “chronically stressed” subjects to the same level as those with low stress.

What’s more, affirmations have been used to successfully treat people with low self-esteem, depression, and other mental health conditions. And they have been shown to stimulate the areas in our brains that make us more likely to affect positive changes in regard to our health.

This latter study suggests that a stronger sense of self-worth makes you more likely to improve your own well-being. So, for example, if you’re worried that you eat too much and don’t get enough exercise, using affirmations to remind yourself of your values can spur you on to change your behavior.

You can use affirmations in any situation where you’d like to see a positive change take place in your life. For example;

  • Control negative feelings such as frustration, anger, or impatience.
  • Improve your self-esteem.
  • Finish projects you’ve started.
  • Improve your productivity.
  • Overcome a bad habit.

Affirmations can help boost the effectiveness and impact of other self-development and personal performance interventions –

Affirmations work particularly well alongside visualization. Instead of just picturing the change you’d like to see, you can also write it down or say it aloud using a positive affirmation. Read more here about the Power of Visualization!

Affirmations are also useful when setting personal goals. Once you’ve identified the goals you’d like to achieve, affirmative statements can help you to keep yourself motivated in order to achieve them. Read more here about the Power of Goals!

The effectiveness of affirmations has been proven in various studies. If you’d like to read more about this, the following blog from PositivePsychology.com provides a deeper insight into affirmations.

It’s important however to follow some useful steps in creating your affirmations, otherwise you may find them not to be quite so effective!

Affirmations are at their most effective when they are –

  • positive
  • in the present
  • personal & meaningful to you
  • credible & achievable
  • concise & specific
  • less is often more
  • repeated at least 3 times a day for 30 days in a row

A useful starting point for creating your affirmation could be ‘Every day I am becoming more ……..‘

Here are some reasons why they are more effective stated this way:

Phrase all of your affirmations positively.
Instead of using “I am not a procrastinator” you could say “I am procrastination-free.” Your subconscious doesn’t understand negative words such as not, don’t, won’t, or can’t. Your affirmations become even more powerful if you include reasons for them such as “I am procrastination-free because I do my daily tasks.”

Always use the present tense.

Also, avoid words like “should”, “could” or “would” because they imply that you could be a certain way but not necessarily are. Write and speak your affirmation as if it’s already happening. This helps you to believe that the statement is true right now. Your subconscious only recognizes the present tense. You have to train your subconscious mind to think in terms of what you already are. Choose a condition you desire and state it to be already true such as “I am confident because I set boundaries and speak up.”

Make them as personal as possible by stating reasons that fit your individual life or schedule.

Think about the areas of your life that you’d like to change. For instance, do you wish that you had more patience? Or deeper relationships with your friends and colleagues? Or would you like a more productive workday? For instance, if you are currently trying to get in shape you could say “I am healthy because I go to the gym for one hour on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays” instead of simply stating “I am healthy”.

In making them personal to you, it’s useful to consider whether they are compatible with your core values – the things that most matter to you, so that you’ll feel genuinely motivated to achieve them.

Be sure that your affirmation is credible and achievable.

Base it on a realistic assessment of the facts. For instance, imagine that you’re unhappy with the level of salary that you currently receive. You could use affirmations to raise your confidence to ask for a salary increase. However, it probably wouldn’t be wise to affirm to yourself that you’re going to double your salary: for most people, and most organizations, doubling what you’re earning in one go isn’t feasible. Keep it realistic! After all, affirmations are not magic spells – if you can’t believe in them, it’s unlikely they’ll impact your life.

Be concise and specifc.

Very general affirmations such as “I am healthy” or “I am happy” are too vague to be understood by your subconscious. Choose statements that are specifically important to you at the time you practice them. Make them as personal as possible by stating reasons that fit your individual life or schedule. For instance, if you are currently trying to get in shape you could say “I am healthy because I go to the gym for one hour on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays” instead of simply stating “I am healthy”.

So often in life, less is more!

Focus on what you feel you specifically need and want to work on at this moment. Ideally, focus on no more than 10 affirmations at a time. This will keep the information for your subconscious manageable.

Make Repetition a Priority – repeat them at least 3 times a day for 30 days in a row

The power of affirmations lies in repeating them to yourself regularly. It’s useful to recite your affirmations several times a day (have them pop up in your notifications, or have them on your home screen!). You also need to repeat your affirmations as soon as you engage in the negative thought or behavior that you want to overcome.

I hope this post has been useful to you in reflecting on the value of affirmations in helping you achieve positive change in your life. If you have any questions about the content or would like to explore coaching together with me, please do get in touch.

May 21, 2021/0 Comments/by Caroline Gavin
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/positive-mind-positive-vibes-post.png 788 940 Caroline Gavin https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Caroline Gavin2021-05-21 17:38:492021-05-21 17:54:01Harnessing Positive Thinking – Affirmations and Mindfulness
General, Growth for You

Which wolf are you feeding – the positive or the negative one?

Our thoughts and words have incredible power.

Words have a magical power. They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair.

Sigmund Freud

Yesterday, I heard a wonderful story which depicted this beautifully.

Two Wolves is a Cherokee Indian legend and illustrates the most important battle of our lives – the one between our good and bad thoughts. Here is how the story goes:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Our negative thoughts and words can create anxiety, anger, resentment, jealousy—an array of emotions. Negative thinking is normal. However, if this way of thinking becomes incessant, it can lead to depression and self-destructive behavior, derailing us from what we want most in life. Negative thinking saps our energy, erodes our self-confidence, and can put us in a bad mood. Certainly, many would agree that our thoughts come and go so quickly that it seems impossible to notice them, but with awareness and an attitude of self-compassion, we can redirect our negative thoughts to more positive ones.

Everything in life, is a choice, and that includes our thoughts and our words.

Our thoughts can be our own worst enemy. That is if we let them. Think about how you may be “feeding” your negative thoughts by allowing them to rule your mind. Next time you have a negative thought, catch it and ask yourself,

“What is this thought doing for me?”

You will find that the answer is that all they are doing is disempowering you. You can immediately feel more empowered by focusing on something good in your life, but also by shifting your language to more positive thoughts and words. 

 Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.

Anonymous

We can create greater peace, confidence and a more positive outlook by learning how to manage our thoughts and words. If you’d like to read more about The Power of Language and enjoy a reflective exercise to raise your awareness of the language you are using, you can find this here.

We also focus on managing our thoughts and words in the MENS SANA ‘Healthy Mind’ Coaching Programme that I deliver! For more information, and for upcoming dates, please get in touch.

Which wolf are you feeding?

The choice is yours.

January 28, 2021/0 Comments/by Caroline Gavin
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/WHICH-WILL-YOU-FEED-2.png 556 897 Caroline Gavin https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Caroline Gavin2021-01-28 15:18:052021-01-28 15:18:07Which wolf are you feeding – the positive or the negative one?
General, Growth for You, Growth for your Team, News

NEW! MENS SANA – ‘Healthy Mind’ Sessions start again on January 27th, 7-8 pm

Click Here to Register for the next MENS SANA – your coach is me, Caroline @4Positivegrowth

If you have any questions, or want to discuss the programme, please call or message me on 07710 631181 and I will call you back!

January 4, 2021/0 Comments/by Caroline Gavin
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/mens-sana-book-image.jpg 997 1595 Caroline Gavin https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Caroline Gavin2021-01-04 13:19:572021-01-23 09:24:55NEW! MENS SANA – ‘Healthy Mind’ Sessions start again on January 27th, 7-8 pm
General, Growth for You

Empowered You – Life Coaching Sessions

What does ‘Empowered’ mean to you?

How does it feel and what does it give you?

There are a number of different dictionary definitions for ‘Empowered’ including,

Having the knowledge, confidence, means, or ability to do things or make decisions for oneself.

To make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

For me, it’s being #empowered to be at your best, to live your best life.

It’s having the #confidence and #clarity to achieve what is most important to you in your life.

It’s about achieving #balance, for optimal #resilience and #wellbeing.

How will you be empowered to be at your best in 2021?

I’d be delighted to learn more about you, and how I can help you be at your best.

Simply get in touch via email, or phone, and we can arrange time for a discovery session together.

Caroline #4positivegrowth

December 7, 2020/0 Comments/by Caroline Gavin
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Growth-for-You-Converted-01.png 3334 4534 Caroline Gavin https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Caroline Gavin2020-12-07 23:16:392020-12-07 23:29:40Empowered You – Life Coaching Sessions
General

The Power of Purpose

What is the why behind everything that you do?

When we know this in life or design, it is very empowering, and the path is clear.

Jack Canfield

When did you last ask yourself ‘why’ you are doing what you are doing?

Steve Jobs, for most of his life, would get out of bed in the morning and ask himself,

‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’

I don’t think I actively asked myself this until I was made redundant and, was actually forced to take time out, and reflect. (I refer to this now as, ‘getting off the hamster wheel of life’!)

What did I want to do, and why?

I loved my job, or so I thought I did, and I gave it my all, always. But something was niggling at me. I used to say, that I felt like I wasn’t ‘adding value’ anymore.

Now I realise, what I was saying was, ‘this is no longer fulfilling me’.

More and more people (particularly in Western society) are falling victim to a feeling of disillusionment that stems from a loss of meaning and purpose in their lives. A lack of purpose can increase the risk of mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, resulting in poorer sleep, and worsening health.

In challenging times, a sense of purpose and meaning is key.

German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once said,

He who has a why can endure any how.

And, the inspirational Viktor Frankl, who endured unbelievable hardship during the holocaust wrote,

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.

The Forbes article, ‘Do You Know Your “Why?” 4 Questions To Find Your Purpose’ reflects on the power of purpose, particularly in the face of challenge and adversity;

‘If you’ve ever faced a significant crisis in your life you’ll have experienced the power of purpose to tap reserves of energy, determination, and courage you likely didn’t know you had. Your mission was clear. Your goal was compelling. Your focus was laser-like. Your potential was tapped. The power of purpose is similar to the energy of light focused through a magnifying glass. Diffused light has little use, but when its energy is concentrated—as through a magnifying glass—that same light can set fire to paper. Focus its energy even more, as with a laser beam, and it has the power to cut through steel. Likewise, a clear sense of purpose enables you to focus your efforts on what matters most, compelling you to take risks and push forward regardless of the odds or obstacles.’

Knowing your why is an important first step in figuring out how to achieve the goals that excite you and create a life you enjoy living (versus merely surviving!). Indeed, only when you know your ‘why’ will you find the courage to take the risks needed to get ahead, stay motivated when the chips are down, and move your life onto an entirely new, more challenging, and more rewarding trajectory.

In trying to find their ‘why’ some have turned to the East, most recently, to the ancient Japanese concept of ‘ikigai’ which means, roughly translated, ‘to live the realization one hopes for’. Iki means “life,” whereas gai means ‘value’ or ‘worth’. Gai comes from the word kai meaning “shell.” This refers back to the Heian period (794 to 1185) when shells were considered valuable.

We can interpret ikigai as finding value in one’s life or discovering one’s purpose.

Exploring the concept of ikigai and the questions that come with it, can help one find a solid purpose and through this, contentment and drive.

The whole concept has been boiled down to four questions:

1) What do you love?

2) What are you good at?

3) What does the world need from you?

4) What can you get paid for?

If you’re retired, you may not have to worry about what you can be paid for, so you can delete that one and focus on the remaining three. The idea is not only to find your purpose but the proper balance between all aspects surrounding it. Another consideration, one’s ikigai doesn’t affect the individual alone. For the Japanese, the concept has a social element. It’s about getting comfortable with your role in your family, job, and society.

Ikigai author Hector Garcia states, ‘that it all snaps into place when you get engrossed in a task and achieve that flow state’. Garcia asks,

‘Have you ever been so absorbed in a task that you forget to drink and eat?’,

‘What type of task was it? Notice those moments when you enter flow, and your Ikigai might be embedded in those moments.’

Author Dan Buettner suggests that you should write three lists; The first is your values, the second things enjoy doing, and the last, things you are good at.

According to Dan, ‘The cross-section of the three lists is your ikigai,’

In week 1 of the MENS SANA – ‘Healthy Mind’ coaching programme that I deliver, we explore goal setting, and ‘Finding your Ikigai’. To learn more, click here, and do get in touch to discuss how we can work together to help you find your ikigai; your purpose, and direction in life.

October 28, 2020/0 Comments/by Caroline Gavin
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/PURPOSE-2.png 660 998 Caroline Gavin https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Caroline Gavin2020-10-28 09:57:152020-10-28 09:57:16The Power of Purpose
General

What is Coaching?

Coaching is a tool that is used to empower individuals and help them reach their goals; it is a structured conversation between the Coach (me) and the Client (you). During a coaching session your coach will walk by your side to help you to reach your ultimate goal and aspirations. They will listen to you, ask questions, find out what your challenges are and inspire you to reach that end goal.

You will be encouraged to make decisions and take responsibility for these decisions.

What coaching is not

Coaching is not about your coach giving you suggestions or advice. They are not mentoring or counselling you. If you commence a series of coaching sessions and it is deemed that coaching is not the correct support mechanism for you at this moment in time this will be discussed with you directly to find a suitable solution to support your onward journey.

How does coaching work?

Different coaches use different models to structure their sessions. A popular model is the GROW model which is an acronym for the areas explored, Goals, Reality, Options and Way forward. This model keeps you moving forward towards your goal. Your coach will be asking you questions, listening to your responses, challenging you whilst all the time remaining non-judgemental regarding the details and not offering you any advice.

How do I know if coaching is right for me?

Do you feel that currently you aren’t reaching your potential and feeling fulfilled?

Is there a gap of where you are now to where you want to be?

Do you sometimes feel you don’t have the skills, resources or confidence to get something complete?

Do you feel stuck and put off making decisions or fail to stick to those decisions you have made?

Are you ready to entertain new and fresh ideas?

Are you willing to be accountable for what you desire?

If you answer yes to any of these questions then coaching can most definitely support you to be the best that you can be.

What will happen during a typical coaching session?

Coaching is predominantly carried out over the telephone, zoom or face to face. The usual procedure is that the client will contact the coach after arranging a convenient time and date.

The duration, content and process for the coaching session is entirely flexible. We are working together to meet your needs and desired outcomes.

Typically however, you will be guided through a 6 point process:

1.    Review the previous session and the actions that you completed

2.    Set the goal for that session

3.    Consider where you are at the present moment with this goal

4.    Consider your options in meeting this goal

5.    Agree on some actions

6.    Summarise the session before completing the session.

Each session will be for 60 minutes unless a longer session has been agreed.  The coach will manage the timing of the session and ensure you gain full value from the session.

Who else will know what has been said?

A coaching session is completely confidential. I agree and comply to the Coaching Code of Conduct which you can also access on my website. Only in extreme circumstances will this confidence be breached. This includes the intent to cause harm to yourself or others or criminal acts.

What does the coach need from me during a session?

To make sure that your time is being well spent with your coach you are expected to come to the session fully prepared and with a goal or aspiration in mind that you would like to work towards.

Preparation is very important for the coaching session so you are encouraged to spend 15 minutes prior to the session taking yourself to an environment where you will not be disturbed, with a drink and feeling refreshed to relax prior to the start of the session. You will also need to ensure that you have a pen and paper to hand and any other items that you may think will be useful such as a diary.

I want to start coaching now. What do I do?

You just need to contact me by phone or email to arrange our first session, when we will discuss your requirements in a little more depth and find out how you would like to be coached.

We will focus on talking about you and your aspirations, where you are now and, what you would like to get out of our coaching sessions. We will then agree a time and date for your first coaching session!

July 16, 2020/0 Comments/by Caroline Gavin
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/72ppi-1.png 738 1119 Caroline Gavin https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Caroline Gavin2020-07-16 12:51:002020-07-16 12:51:02What is Coaching?
General

Get unstuck – name the emotion

If you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions that are not resourceful to you, that are stopping you being at your best, take a moment to name the emotion you are feeling. This changes the brain activation levels, lowering the emotions in the amygdala and raising the prefrontal cortex.

Now that really is a very valuable piece of Emotional Intelligence wisdom for these rapidly changing and challenging times! Daniel Goleman* shared this ‘nugget’ in his recent WBECS webinar – Training the Brain: The Key to Developing EI.

The prefrontal cortex is the brain’s executive centre.

It’s the part that takes in information, understands it and responds. It’s the part of the brain that makes good decisions, strategizes and learns.

The amygdala is the brain’s trigger for emergencies and crises.

In the face of present challenges, more and more executives and leaders are finding they’re in emergency mode, in the amygdala. Also known as fight or flight mode, it captures the prefrontal cortex, fixating attention on what it thinks the emergency is, narrowing the range of choices, which causes us to make bad decisions.

Right now, it’s more important than ever for us to be able to manage our emotional ‘state’, so we can be our most resourceful self, at home and at work (one of the same for many, and that’s one of the challenges!)

According to Daniel Goleman, a recent global study found that the most important skills leaders need today are emotional intelligence, leading teams, developing people, influence, relationship management and leading change.

It’s worth noting that all of these come down to Emotional Intelligence (EI).

Working with a coach can be indispensable for developing EI and raising Self-Awareness; vital to good decision making, knowing what you’re feeling, knowing why you’re feeling it and knowing how it impacts your performance. These can help you control how you choose to respond to people, situations, your own thoughts and emotions.

Vital skills for you to be at your best, to help yourself and those around you, today and into the future.

If you’d like to work on developing your EI or raising your self-awareness or, would value coaching support for you and your team, in adjusting to the new world, I’d love to hear from you caroline@4positivegrowth.co.uk . I offer Personal Performance and Team Coaching as well as a range of online coaching sessions, to support personal growth, development and wellbeing.

Wishing you health, Caroline @4PositiveGrowth

Thanks to Daniel Goleman for sharing his insights as part of the World Business & Executive Coach Summit 2019 * Daniel Goleman has been nominated twice for the Pulitzer Prize and received the Lifetime Career Award from the American Psychological Association Award. He was named the 2011 and 2013 Top Business Guru by Accenture Institute for Strategic Change for his 1998 article “What Makes a Leader?” is one of the two most requested reprints in the history of Harvard. The Wall Street Journal named him one of the Top 10 Most Influential Business Thinkers.

April 17, 2020/0 Comments/by Mark Pollard
https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Blog-Image-Template-01.png 500 654 Mark Pollard https://4positivegrowth.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/4pg-Logo-01-1-300x83.png Mark Pollard2020-04-17 15:27:552020-04-21 11:23:41Get unstuck – name the emotion
  • Is this the formula for Powerful Change?June 23, 2021 - 12:20 pm
  • Love or Fear, which do you choose?June 14, 2021 - 1:16 pm
  • Harnessing Positive Thinking – Affirmations and MindfulnessMay 21, 2021 - 5:38 pm
  • The Power of Visualization – Mind MoviesMay 16, 2021 - 7:59 am
  • Which wolf are you feeding – the positive or the negative one?January 28, 2021 - 3:18 pm

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